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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have NPD after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had already reached that understanding on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma around the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Though a significant majority of people found to have NPD are men, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a young adult who shares content on her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his doctor, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling through national services (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the presence of online advocates and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number